I had to practice for Thanksgiving so that I could abate all the "it can't be good if it doesn't obliterate your intestines, force helpless animals to live a miserable life on a factory farm, and mess with the wiring of your brain and/or heart" naysayers.*
Fortunately, I, with the help of the Food Network's Alton Brown and a friend (Julie F.) who suggested I combine Alton's recipe with my own, am a self-professed-not-necesarily-proven culinary genius.
You, and all the aforementioned naysayers, will LOVE this pie. In fact, the only concern with this pie is that you will make it for the few of you with dietary concerns and then all the glutinous carnivores who suck up MSG like a nuclear Hoover will gobble it up before you get any. My suggestion: write "Contains tofu" on an index card and affix it to the pie plate to keep them away. They don't need to know that this is one recipe where you can't actually taste the tofu.
Gluten-free, Vegan, MSG-free Peanut Butter Cup Pie
serves 1-16, depending on size of pieces
Crust (basically, my peanut butter cookie recipe)
2 c. peanut butter (the real stuff, people)
1 c. white sugar (spring for Fair Trade)
1 c. brown sugar (see note for white sugar)
2 t. baking soda
2 T. ground flax seeds, whisked with 5-6 T. warm water and given 10 minutes to gelatinize
Filling (this is Alton Brown's recipe, with slight tweaking)
13 ounces (1 1/3 bags) Enjoy Life Chocolate Chips (or other chocolate that does not contain soy lecithin)
1/3 c. brewed coffee (see note regarding white sugar)
1 t. vanilla extract
1 lb. silken tofu, drained
1 T. white sugar
Combine all crust ingredients in a large bowl. Mix well. Take as much as needed to form a thin layer on bottom and up sides of pie plate. Fork crust several times. Bake at 325 for 10-15 minutes. Let cool completely. Use the rest of the dough to bake cookies. Drop by rounded spoonfuls onto cookie sheet and fork twice with fork dipped in white sugar. Bake at 325 for 12-13 minutes. Cool and set aside. You will need some of these. The rest are for eating throughout the day. You're welcome.
Place tofu in blender. Place all other ingredients in a double boiler and melt, stirring regularly. Once melted, place chocolate mixture into blender with tofu. Blend well. Pour into completely cooled pie crust.
Crumble several completely cooled cookies on top of pie. Refrigerate for at least 2 hours before serving. It is best if it has cooled overnight.
This is best served in small pieces, as it is rich!
* For the record, we will be spending Thanksgiving with a family that will most likely not say any of the cruel things written here in the spirit of humor.