Monday, April 25, 2011

The Homeschooling Mom Who Ate Her Own Soul

I have been flying in the homeschool mom portion of my life lately.  We've been thoroughly engaged in lots of interesting topics, like archeology and ancient civilizations, Greek and Latin roots, brain teasers, and family performances of recitations.  Everyone in the family is enjoying these adventures, and working together towards common goals has helped us get through this very cold, wet spring without too much bickering.  At the same time, each of the kids is in a particularly pleasant groove with their various classes and relationships.  And we are all seeing some exciting advances in both knowledge and mastery of skills.

See?  Flying Homeschool Mom.

The problem is that I am an all or nothing sort of specimen and Flying Homeschool Mom usually only happens at the expense of Healthy Human Being.

So, once Flying Homeschool Mom has put all the mookies to bed, cleaned up a bit, and written in my blog, Healthy Human Being is nowhere to be found.  My evil twin, Exhausted Shell of a Woman, however, throws on pajamas, climbs into bed with the computer, and watches several episodes of Scrubs on Nexflix, while knitting mindlessly and waiting for the Benadryl to kick in enough to clear up my sinuses and force me to submit to sleep.

Except I don't ever really get that sleep.  Instead, I think about how pathetic I am in the evenings and how much sugar I eat during the day.  That is, after all, how Healthy Human Being attempts to make herself seem tangible and real while Flying Homeschool Mom is succeeding all over the place.  Healthy Human Being eats foods I would never think to feed my kids in such vast quantities and checks Facebook more than anyone ever really needs to check Facebook!

I am missing Healthy Human Being these days.  We'd been getting along swimmingly until some time in late February/Early March when I realized that winter really was planning on reaching its fullest potential -- again.   In order to keep the kids from getting sucked into the winter doldrums, I kicked Flying Homeschool Mom into high gear and let Healthy Human Being wither into nothingness.

But now it's time to find her -- me -- again.

That's right.  I am cutting Flying Homeschool Mom's hours and giving Healthy Human Being a trip to the virtual spa.  The trick is eliminating the all-or-nothing mentality from the equation.  My plan, for example, is to get the sugar out of my system.  My typical modus operandi is to publicly eschew all sugar from my life forever and ever amen.  I do really well at that until Exhausted Shell of a Woman grabs me by the neck and starts shaking me until I feed her enough chocolate to make up for the previous X amount of sugar-free weeks or months.  Or sometimes, until someone hands me a cookie.  Whichever comes first.

My goal this time is to go a few days without sugar and then listen to my body.  As my sugar addiction usually crops up around the same time every year -- late winter -- my sense is that my body is screaming, "For the love of carbohydrates, hook me up with a fresh peach!"  Now that spring is eking out a seminal existence, though, I don't think I need to supplement the desire for sweet with sugar anymore.  Strawberries should suffice.

My second goal for the week (yes, I am beginning on a Monday because I am just that much of a cliche), as I attempt to resurrect Healthy Human Being, is to give Flying Homeschool Mom a few breaks so that I might have the energy to spend part of the evening in more productive, nurturing pursuits than Facebook and Scrubs (although the former is really more of a waste of time than the latter -- because that is some funny funny stuff, that Scrubs -- but perhaps six five several episodes a night is too much).

So, there you have it -- my plan for week one of the return of Healthy Human Being: less sugar, less Scrubs, less Facebook, less Flying Homeschool Mom.  Simple enough.

How do you find balance as a parent?  A homeschooling parent?  A human being in general?  I'd love to hear more ideas.

Flying Homeschool Mom let the worms in
and cleans up the dirt everyday.
Healthy Human Being is putting them on the patio.


Julie Bernstein said...

Yes, yes, YES. Resonate so strongly with this.

Motherhood and More said...

I often wonder if I'll ever reach a point where all aspects of my life are in balance. Great post. :)

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